In the Name of Love

I don’t think I can love anymore. It’s a heavy burden with all its expectations, with all its potential downfalls, with all of its “life”. With me and without me, love exists. With Yata Eagle Wines’ Syrah in your glass, you are the sum of all the love and the anti-love in your life experiences. Which way is the glass going to tip that sum? 

When I take the first sip of the wine from that glass, I think of what I love and why I can’t love anymore.

(I love) my mother who raised me but with carelessness.

(I love) my father who tried raising me but with words of hate.

(I love) my college roommate, who used to force me to spar with him whenever he played the soundtrack of an Avengers movie.

(I love) my business partner who grinds his coffee in the morning when I’m trying to sleep in.

(I love) my ex-girlfriend who used to hate my gift giving skills (1 case of wine).

(I love) the distance between two glasses at a dinner table.

(I love) the way my hand smells after petting a smelly dog.

(I love) knowing what I’m going to get when I pull into the Taco Bell Drive-thru.

(I love) accidentally burning holes in my pants as I try to dry them off in the backcountry of the Tetons with my bestfriend.

(I love) when I can recommend a movie and they watch it and love it too.

(I love) the 65lb dumbbells that wait patiently for me in the gym.

(I love) how sticky my fingers feel after rolling multiple joints.

(I love) when my friend exchanges fruits with me for wine (tax free).

(I love) writing texts that I end up not sending.

(I love) the shadow of my friend’s head on the table that I rest my ice-chai tea latte on.

(I love) potatoes.

(I love) Anakin Skywalker (#relatable).

(I love) the smile across me when we both take the first sip of the potato leek soup.

(I love) the moments I cry.

(I love) the smell of shampoo as she walks out the bathroom.

(I love) seeing a Hispanic BBQ party from afar.

(I love) the goodbyes I’ve said and haven’t said.

(I love) my life that seemingly tells me that I don’t.

                        So I do then. I do (love). And I can continue loving.